LINSEYSWORLD.COM – “You’re a stranger to Croyden County, ain’t ya, Mister? What’s in the suitcase? Bra samples! Mmm, nuthin’ a decent gal could wear. Well, Goober’s fillin’ station ain’t open until 6am so you’re a’gonna have to spend the night here. In the morning, I can run you over and get your tire fixed. Now, I hope you don’t mind none but we got a right small place here. So you’re gonna have ta sleep in my daughter Linsey’s room.
Don’t mind her none’. That young’un can go on all night a’chatting. She just loves to meet strangers. Gotta warn ya, she done like to talk a lot of that thar sexy stuff. Ah guess it’s because thar ain’t much to do ’round these parts so mebbe she can get a little perky when she meets a new face. It’s all I can do to keep those farm hands offen her when I got my back turned, ’cause she done got the biggest taters in Croyden County and she sure do like to show them off! I’ve had to pepper my share of backsides with buckshot from old Betsy here, y’know.
Now I gotta warn ya that the walls are right thin and I sleep next door. So I don’t wanna hear any monkey business or you, me and Betsy here are gonna have a meetin’. So you go right on up and knock on Linsey’s door. She’ll be right pleased for the company tonight. Sleep tight and the outhouse is to the right. If you need anything, just holler.”